Petrous Hearts and The Unsung Hero

Original Instagram post as follows:

Do NOT "like" this photo, for it is not mine to like. Instead, head over to my bro's page and just like his photo. @enmanuelwrites Huge shoutout to my bro E for this photo which inspired this poem:
~~~
Unassuming, the hero makes her mark
The unsung hero seeks not applause
Carefully considering her watch throughout the dead of night
A thankless job, that gone undone would cause the world she carries on her shoulders to crumble
But they'll never know it
It is only when the hero stumbles that people notice the hero
Unassuming, the hero watches over the night
She is a light in a dark tunnel to those who refuse to see their own
And those who are ready to make it brighter
She stands firm on fluid foundations
She remains fluid on firm foundations
Like water through stone, she painstakingly, and with such quiet patience, breaks through old traditions that set a tone of quieting their voices
And without ego, she allows the tides of change to keep her balanced
Change has always been her friend
Still, her watch is unwavering
In them she sees herself
But they have no eyes to see her
They can only be as they are not as she is
Still she stands
She waits
Watching them like a mirror on her past
If only they knew now, what she wishes she knew then
But they have no ears to hear her
She wishes she could tell them that they are heroes too
Because when she does it falls on deaf ears
But the unsung hero seeks not applause
Sometimes she must allow them to find their own way for a while
She must stand at her watch,  unmoved at her post, as she stands there moved to tears when no one is looking
But no one is ever looking or truly seeing
They have no eyes
She wishes they had ears but they have none
But there are glimmers of hope that keep her at her post
Because oh the joy she has when they do have ears to hear, eyes to see, and hearts that wish to understand
When there are some lights that wish to be taken out of the darkness
When there are some flowers that long for more sun
She watches them grow on her watch and seeks not applause
Only the satisfaction that her watch just became a bit lighter
Applause enough for the unsung hero
Unassuming, she leaves her mark and keeps watch
~~~

September 23rd, 2013 - A Realization

There was nothing wrong with it
But suddenly I thought it was broken.
I didn't know it then but it was still spotless.
But to me it appeared shattered, dirty, and like something no one would want.
This untouchable unbreakable entity of magic is not what I saw then.
It appeared to be a garbage can for something, a place where I could house temporary joys, thrills, and delights that quickly lost their depth and luster, and became added clay to the sculpture of mess I saw before me.
I just kept piling it on, like it would make it look better to me, when instead it just made dust collect even faster - from what I could see.
The lining started to chip and crack,
And the more I thought of ways to remedy the damages, the more repair was needed.
I had no idea that what I was looking at wasn't dust, but something more like gold or precious fine fabric, elaborate marble sculptures, walls, and flooring, and not this pile of junk beneath me that I kept seeing.
I had no notion of the fact that there wasn't any fixing to be done, no disaster that could even dream of wrecking it, for it was unmovable, pristine, and even divine.
There was nothing wrong with it at all.
Even when I thought that what I had done had only made it worse, everything remained in tact.
But for some reason I still didn't see that.
Why couldn't I blink and see clearly?
Why couldn't I forgive myself for the damage that never existed in the first place?
What confounded me more, was when I started to see that there was no destruction, nothing broken, no pieces lost, and nothing sullied in the least, I also thought I was starting to move beyond my initial thoughts.
See, I thought that it was great that it wasn't broken. In fact I celebrated its normalcy. Normalcy! Ha! As if it could even be so normal.
Blindly, I was still clueless, relieved, but clueless.
Not only was it not broken, nor stained, nor soiled, but it was sacred, Holy, and regarded one of the most sought after entities of them all!
I didn't know; and I must admit, for a time I was ecstatic, and celebrated years in realization that it was never damaged or sullied.
I was so happy that despite all the things I did to it, somehow it wasn't touched.
It was incredible.
I felt as though I was at peace, finally.
I put it behind me, something I would never have to question or look at again.
I thought I had forgiven myself for trying to fix what wasn't broken, and I thought I had forgiven the action that I thought had broken it in the first place.
I was fine with this; I was fine with this for quite some time.
But then suddenly, something started to change.
I started to learn more about it, and why it was so desired, and in some places worshipped; and with my learnings arose the dust that had settled from the initial incident.
I realized, perhaps I wasn't completely over it.
That couldn't be right, I thought...
But yet here I was, discovering how pristine it is and always will be, how Holy and sacred of a place it is, how nothing could ever wash away its luster, or sully up its walls; how not a soul could enter that wasn't pure of heart; not a foot could pass that wasn't as divine as its floors; and I was sobbing all the while.
It was never dismembered, it was always adamantine; that is to say too hard to cut, break, or pierce, like a diamond in luster.
As I rediscovered its beauty, and as I realized that I am the proud owner of a sacred entity that no one can rob me of, soil, or destroy, I became inconsolable at the thought that I didn't realize it sooner.
Yet now the tears were becoming tears of pride.
And the wails
and the sobs
and the whines
and the moans
became magical enchantments
and incantations
and blessings
and praises!
They became a sacred ritual I never knew I could remember, yet always knew were within me somehow.
I heard my an-sisters calling from the other side in agreement, in response, in unison, in joy.
I relentlessly enjoyed it - in peace which surpassed understanding, to my delight.
I reveled, basked, and luxuriated in this newfound discovery, understanding that the holiness of this entity predated human comprehension.
I rejoiced in this new ancient future of my past.
I reemerged anew, understood in totality, and remembered...
oh but I remembered.
I finally remembered...

...that my Vagina, is MY Holy place, and it is completely, irrevocably, indisputably, and divinely untouchable.

Something in the way you

The way to my heart is  laughter, the way to my spirit is intuition, the way to my mind is having an elevated intellect,

intuition, perseverance, delicate words, kind gestures, thoughtful romance...

Laughter, mature intellect, intuition, perseverance, delicate words, kind gestures,  and thoughtful blissful moments of romance. Sweet glances, smiling hearts, hidden desires, starts and stops. Teach me something. Teach ME something. Teach me SOMETHING. You don't have to ask me if I'll scratch your back whilst still scratching mine, immerse yourself in the moment and your turn will come. Just look at me while I look at you... feel that? I do. Hugs, kisses, dreams, and cuddles. Here's to being spontaneous, hold the subtle.

(Written in 2011)

The Wolf and The Moon

Seven times did the Wolf howl to the moon to show it's face and it did not comply.
"Why are you shouting to the sky?" said a passerby.
The Wolf said nothing and howled again, this time for 7 minutes.
Yet the clouds did not diminish,
But the Wolf would not finish.
In a seven syllable chant did the Wolf conclude it's last attempt to see,
But the clouds would not recede.
Wolf heart increasing its beat,
For an ugly thing revealed itself in the images overhead...
The heavens revealed not peace, or joy, but something dead;
Something Wolf could not understand,
As Wolf sat there praying with clasped hands,
Scared to stand or yelp another note.
What is this message meaning which the clouds wrote?
Uglier and scarier still, grew the images in eye shot.
For clear skies full of hope and promise Wolf saw not.
Wolf saw anger, and bitterness, resentment and fear,
And Wolf realized it was beginning to tear.
Wolf did not cry because Wolf feared the sky, but Wolf realized...
Although all the joy in my heart I might have,
And my peace of mind is like numbers to math,
Some people don't have it so easy; so tears fell, slow...
To some, when peace is offered evil is shown;
Sometimes the weeds must grow
Before we can reap the love that we sow.
Sometimes we are shown evil to appreciate the good that surrounds us.
We need to be thankful, even when it's easier to make a fuss.
Wolf realized, "Now is not the time to cuss." ;)
And you know, Wolf realized something else that night...
Although it could not see Moon, it was alright...

Wolf did not need the moon to show her that all along, within her was the light.

Morning Haiku

I see your starlight
And I am drawn in by it
What is this feeling

I have no words for
This inexplicable force
Magnetic. Warming. 

Who are you my dear?
Your tender starshine wraps me
I'm enthralled by it

No word exists yet
For this new experience
Charm? Understatement.

Flitterbug to flame
I'm englufed like gale force winds
Floating up warm air

Propelled by your flames
But not burned by your bright light
Lifted up by it

It feels like dancing
Oh how you entrance me so
But do you see that?

Or, can you feel that?
I don't know what the word is
But it's like heaven

You must be from there
Your eyes tell no lies to me
In this realm, yet free

Free as the night air
Wherefore have you come here so?
Your hug a soft breeze

No, I don't know this
Can't put my finger on it
Your airy light, bright

Lifts me up at night
When uncertain future rings
And I don't answer

Enough about that
Can't control future or past
When you are present,

it's truly a gift.
Here's to the future my friend.
My spirits, you lift.

12/14/12

Because babies should never have to hold hands and scrimmage
To exit a school building while they shut their eyes from the carnage
Because I never got to meet my brother's brother, his life lost cuz of his surrounding streets
Because even that beautiful sunset sky can look grey on a day like today
Because fear in in the eyes of children should never be there in the first place
Because she shouldn't have to hide her face; so runs home like it's a race; and he still calls her a disgrace...
Because danger comes around, without warning, without sound, unannounced
I say my prayers out loud.
And I'm not a preacher
And this is not a revival
But nowadays Church is in the wild
So if you never got on your knees to pray
Or even said, Wassup God? Or, Hey!
I think a good time for that would be today
No matter where your spirituality stays
Cuz I've seen atheists meditate and Holy people eradicate entire races
So please send love and gratitude from where you stand,
Cuz you still have your arms to hug, and you still have your hands to hold hands.
Send peaceful energy too.
Especially to people with attitudes who are not in the mood
Cuz you never know of whom they may have thought to shoot
But there is nothing that can justify all the babies and parents that cried
Hiding their eyes as they walked by the carnage today
They say be kind to unkind people, for they may need it the most
And I didn't know this guy, but what possessed him to do this, was no heavenly host
It isn't fair.
It isn't right.
It should be engraved entwined in our DNA.
But because it's not for some here and there,
I implore you to speak to whatever higher being you feel like tonight.
Ladies and gentlemen... it's time to pray.

Reprobate Mind

(Written in 2005 for a performance at Purchase College)

My mind ain't here right now
As time goes by the minds of time wrestle with the sign of the times
What's on your mind?

Well, where is it?
My mind ain't here right
Can you read into my mind, have you seen it?
You don't know me!

It's a sign of the minds of time
When to learn is a struggle
Don't wanna go to class today
No I don't have three-thousand dollars for room and board
Thank you George Pataki and friends

Three-thousand dollars for room and board?!?!

My mom's fine, yeah family's good
No, but I made the waiting list!

You know education is the only thing that really keeps you from learning
Everything you need to learn in life you learned in Kindergarten
What was I gonna say?
Jesus was perfect. I'm not. Sue me!
Where's your head at?

School's fine Huh? Yeah I know, I'ma be 20 tomorrow.
They throwin' me a party lata' tonight at South.

I would like to announce that the problem with society is not my Bush
but yours?
And why do we worship youth in this country anyway?
Yes, why is it cute to have your nana look like it did when you were 6?

She's not 28, you know damn well she like 40!
I can't stand when people be frontin' yo!

This just in: Gangster rappers are a necessary evil
To deceive the minds of this time,
SssExploit women,
And live up to the stereotype of a youth misunderstood,
So, please, I urge you to get your mind right.

Elevating the minds of the times we fail to do.
Deceptions, oppressions, victims of a slave mentality,
Is this my reality?

My mind's tellin' me... (sung) My mind's tellin' me...
My mind's tellin' me... hmm what is my mind tellin' me?
Where's your head at?!

No you can't, save the world but you can, change the world one by one
Yes it starts with one
Each one teach one
Teach my mind
What have I learned?
Keep the toilet seat up, there's tissue in there and you got hands right?
Talk to strangers, why not?
That's how you meet people, it's called networking.
And sometimes please and thank you is implied by the tone of your voice.

Voice, voice, choice.
Yes you have a choice to have your voice be heard.
Life is like 4 (or 5 or 6 or 7 for some of you) years at Purchase:
It's really what you make of it.

It's a sign of the times to have a reprobate mind,
But this time I changed my mind.
No victim to society.
Climb that hierarchical chain,
Yes, I will play their game
'Cause in order to beat the system you gotta use the system.

I believe we need to step off this falsified ladder up,
And lead us not into stagnation.
A stagnant nation due to the youth of a stagnant nation;
Underdeveloped nations
One nation under God?
Leading to a life of eternal damnation. 

Aww do you need a hug? So what if you don't like hugs?
No I know they don't fix things but I like giving them!
JUST HUG ME!

What was I saying?
Yo where was my mind today?
It ain't even here right now...
Don't mind me I'm just an undergraduate.