Touching hands with strangers (first edition)

I never liked touching hands with strangers
Since being an adult I have felt more freedom about being vocal about it without seeming disrespectful
It is an invasion of space similar to touching my hair
Especially if you do it without my permission
But by shaking your hand I have given you permission to transfer your energy to me, and if I do not know you I'm not sure I'll be comfortable with that
Think about it, when we love, we hold hands with the person we love
You are on the same wavelength and don't mind transferring energies between each other
As a relationship shifts, perhaps hands are held less, perhaps there is less of an inclination to hold hands, and rather claim your own space
It is nice to meet you perhaps, but for some reason I prefer a pound out even a hug and kiss on the cheek depending on the vibe I get from a new person
I'd rather acknowledge the Light or God-being in you and bow than touch your hand with mine
Perhaps as a sentient being I wish to patrol the waters of approaching energies, scanning them and questioning them before allowing them to pass through me.
It is a sign of good faith to allow willingly your hand to touch mine
And my faith lies less in a stranger's hand and more in the stranger's heart.
I believe you are a good person, a being of light, clean, and kind in nature, but it us hard for me to trust all the energies your hands have touched, and if I sense them before touching you it can be overwhelming, and I won't touch you...your hands.
Hands are powerful. Hands store mass amounts of energy. Hands can heal. Hands can create. Hands...
Your hands
Will not touch mine
Until
I
Feel
Your
Soul

Secluded From My Neighborhood

Secluded from my neighborhood
I never learned to play double-dutch
Sheltered in my home, it was my boyfriend at 17 who taught me how to ride a bike
Parents who wouldn't respond to slang or street talk cuz I went to Catholic school...
Which they paid for & never let me forget it
Living in front of the precinct my whole life, I've actually befriended some
So the words Fuck and The and Po-Po have never been able to be uttered from my mouth in sequence
And actually the sound of a loud police car is rather comforting
Not because I feel more safe and protected persay, just more at home
In fact, one blip of an approaching police car on a summer day is just as nostalgic as the song Summertime in the summer
I never made any friends on the block, much less date any of the guys with their pants down low, and weed hidden in their shoe toe
I didn't know them, and they didn't know me, but to this very day they feel they have some type of right to a free smile at the butt crack of dawn on my early morning commute
No mutha fukka, I don't owe you shit! And no mutha fukka, I don't think I'm better than you!
And sorry mom, I know you paid for my education so that I can use other words in my vernacular to describe my sentiments towards this fellow
But sometimes I just feel like I have to level with them just to get them to understand that no one is "better than" another being
But the fact that they believe this, that they believe themselves inferior, is the sad part
You are beautiful, boy with your pants low and weed hidden in your shoe toe
Yes I think so, but I still don't wanna stop on my a.m.commute to chat it up about how good you think I look, or where I'm from, or why I'm always looking down sad
They don't realize that I'm not walking down Ryer Avenue with my head down because I'm sad, I'm walking down Ryer Avenue with my head down because it's shit-city and I don't wanna step in it
So you wanna talk about my looks, and where I'm from, and why my upbringing has made me appear bourgy
Fine
I have this complexion because of my Chippewa Great Grandparents & mother
The darkest of the indigenous Americans
But also because of her dark skinned Puerto Rican father, and she has straight hair so...
I have this afro because of my Puerto Rican dad...
But we're all black anyway!
And I have no accent because both of them made me speak the king's English
"We'll have no street talk in this house," mom starts
"Because you paid for my education, I know..."
I am no immigrant
Nor were my parents
Or my grandparents
So can you really blame me for having to take a moment to switch gears before speaking Spanish?
Which usually turns into Spanglish anyway
Secluded from my neighborhood, cursing less than the rest, seeking better for myself, removing the glass ceiling & living in Spain, England, & Italy
Secluded from my neighborhood & protected from double-dutch & domino tables & even fire hydrants in the summer
Secluded from your world, in it and not of it
My parents paid for my education, but it doesn't make me better than you
Just more aware that there's a heavier price to pay for ignorance than there is for being educated