There was nothing wrong with it
But suddenly I thought it was broken.
I didn't know it then but it was still spotless.
But to me it appeared shattered, dirty, and like something no one would want.
This untouchable unbreakable entity of magic is not what I saw then.
It appeared to be a garbage can for something, a place where I could house temporary joys, thrills, and delights that quickly lost their depth and luster, and became added clay to the sculpture of mess I saw before me.
I just kept piling it on, like it would make it look better to me, when instead it just made dust collect even faster - from what I could see.
The lining started to chip and crack,
And the more I thought of ways to remedy the damages, the more repair was needed.
I had no idea that what I was looking at wasn't dust, but something more like gold or precious fine fabric, elaborate marble sculptures, walls, and flooring, and not this pile of junk beneath me that I kept seeing.
I had no notion of the fact that there wasn't any fixing to be done, no disaster that could even dream of wrecking it, for it was unmovable, pristine, and even divine.
There was nothing wrong with it at all.
Even when I thought that what I had done had only made it worse, everything remained in tact.
But for some reason I still didn't see that.
Why couldn't I blink and see clearly?
Why couldn't I forgive myself for the damage that never existed in the first place?
What confounded me more, was when I started to see that there was no destruction, nothing broken, no pieces lost, and nothing sullied in the least, I also thought I was starting to move beyond my initial thoughts.
See, I thought that it was great that it wasn't broken. In fact I celebrated its normalcy. Normalcy! Ha! As if it could even be so normal.
Blindly, I was still clueless, relieved, but clueless.
Not only was it not broken, nor stained, nor soiled, but it was sacred, Holy, and regarded one of the most sought after entities of them all!
I didn't know; and I must admit, for a time I was ecstatic, and celebrated years in realization that it was never damaged or sullied.
I was so happy that despite all the things I did to it, somehow it wasn't touched.
It was incredible.
I felt as though I was at peace, finally.
I put it behind me, something I would never have to question or look at again.
I thought I had forgiven myself for trying to fix what wasn't broken, and I thought I had forgiven the action that I thought had broken it in the first place.
I was fine with this; I was fine with this for quite some time.
But then suddenly, something started to change.
I started to learn more about it, and why it was so desired, and in some places worshipped; and with my learnings arose the dust that had settled from the initial incident.
I realized, perhaps I wasn't completely over it.
That couldn't be right, I thought...
But yet here I was, discovering how pristine it is and always will be, how Holy and sacred of a place it is, how nothing could ever wash away its luster, or sully up its walls; how not a soul could enter that wasn't pure of heart; not a foot could pass that wasn't as divine as its floors; and I was sobbing all the while.
It was never dismembered, it was always adamantine; that is to say too hard to cut, break, or pierce, like a diamond in luster.
As I rediscovered its beauty, and as I realized that I am the proud owner of a sacred entity that no one can rob me of, soil, or destroy, I became inconsolable at the thought that I didn't realize it sooner.
Yet now the tears were becoming tears of pride.
And the wails
and the sobs
and the whines
and the moans
became magical enchantments
and incantations
and blessings
and praises!
They became a sacred ritual I never knew I could remember, yet always knew were within me somehow.
I heard my an-sisters calling from the other side in agreement, in response, in unison, in joy.
I relentlessly enjoyed it - in peace which surpassed understanding, to my delight.
I reveled, basked, and luxuriated in this newfound discovery, understanding that the holiness of this entity predated human comprehension.
I rejoiced in this new ancient future of my past.
I reemerged anew, understood in totality, and remembered...
oh but I remembered.
I finally remembered...
...that my Vagina, is MY Holy place, and it is completely, irrevocably, indisputably, and divinely untouchable.
